STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
