I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
