yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
