I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
