i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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