this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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