but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
