Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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