I want to make a zoo with you.
I wish I only lived at night.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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