I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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