Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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