I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
