is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
