I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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