awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
