I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
