According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
