You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
