drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
