Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
