Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
