apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
