its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
