Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
