Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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