Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
