I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
