she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
