sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
