yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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