arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
