You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize