so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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