Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
