I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
