I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
