she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
