Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
