I love black thongs
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
