all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
