Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
