I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
