do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
