And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
And then my night got REAL pukey
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So. Much. Porn.
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