"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
