i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize