I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I need water and some morals
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
