so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize