Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
