Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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