I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
