none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
