those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
