Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Found the puke drawer
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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