Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
