She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
