Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
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