happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
