I don't think brook has ever known best
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
